1959 — Barbie doll introduced at The American International Toy Fair
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
APOCALYPSE TOYSHOP DEBUTS NEW DOLL LINE AND ACCESSORIES
New York City, NY, March 9, 2017 — Today at the annual US Toy & Game Expo, Apocalypse Toyshop, Inc., will debut its new line of realistic dolls and accessories.
“Apocalypse Toyshop operates under the philosophy that today’s young girls need realistic toys and images to prepare them for our changing world,” CEO Kerry Allison explained. “Previous generations played with slim-figured, perfect-looking dolls, which created unfair expectations. Children could never grow up to have bodies with the same proportions as their dolls.”
In response, Apocalypse Toyshop today introduces Endtimes Emily (TM), with a stockier figure perfectly proportioned to fight her way to survival. Instead of high-fashion outfits, her self-made garments emphasis protection — from extreme weather, and from cannibal mutants that attempt to break into her home.
“Speaking of home,” Ms. Allison continues, “Endtimes Emily won’t have a Fantasy House or Luxury RV. She’ll have a cement-reinforced one-room bunker, with a food closet, weapons trunk, and escape hatch. She’ll also have her own nuclear clock, which is equipped with a convenient snooze button.”
As with most toy lines, Endtimes Emily will have an available assortment of companions on release day: Radioactive Rosie, complete with realistic scarring; Dementia Dave; and Humphrey, the hairless, three-legged pooch. “Of course, this is our one concession to fantasy,” the CEO admits. “In real-life, all of Emily’s family and friends will have died horribly.”
Look for more companions and accessories to be added in the future…if there is one.
Author’s Note: If you’re enjoying this or other posts on the Apocalypse-a-Day blog, please consider reading my first novel, Odd Adventures with your Other Father.